And then it hit me…

I was gonna start by quoting Denzel in Training Day but then I remembered his outcome… we don’t need that energy this way. Instead I’ll just keep it cute… I’m living my best life.

Earlier this week I saw (and posted) a lot of “you’re living in the era you once prayed for” type of things. It really hit me that I indeed am. I’m taking trips, I’m not going to *that* job, and my bank accounts aren’t hurting. There was once upon a time that I didn’t know how I was even doing the damn thing, but I was. I know wholeheartedly it was nobody but God. Everyday when I say my mantras, one is “I’m protected in ways I’m not even aware of yet” and this past year plus has shown me just that. Idk what ancestor dreamed of me but they made me a walking miracle from the start. I’m really grateful and thankful… you just couldn’t begin to understand the immensity of my gratitude. Let me chill before I get to shouting…

Today tho… today I went through every emotion at once. Low key it was like I had no business being happy earlier this week because of the news that came today. My air went out yesterday and I called the people today. It was already upsetting me and my fur child because it literally is a problem that happens every year. I done called my mama and everything – like I was fed tf up, AND STILL AM! A 3 year old HVAC unit that goes out yearly??? Ain’t nobody got time for that! But it’s like whenever life sees you doing good, there’s always something it throws in to humble you. It’s aggravating to me, though, because I’ve been humble my whole life! Now I wanna pop my happy ass shit and can’t because the HVAC want me in my own house just heated. I’m still mad about it but I realized two things: 1. I actually have the funds to fix it (despite what I told the man… who wants to pay all that in one day??) and 2. This won’t kill my mood forever.

Look I’m still about to be fuming about the situation though; I’ll spare all the details but simply eff-you-see-kay those people who installed my unit AND who have been doing yearly “maintenance” and then coming to “fix” it every year in the meantime in between time. The devil tried to steal my joy but he should’ve known my mindset has changed and I refuse to be down. I’m still living my happy ass life. I used to pray hard to be in this place and I’ve worked to make it here physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I’m not all the way where I want to be but I surely am further along this time around. And my hope is filled with confident expectations that everything will simply get better. I’m learning and growing, my face is glowing, and I don’t have to go to *that* job! Lawd you were looking out for the girl for sure!

As I sit back this evening in my living room with this little fan oscillating and a window open to let in a breeze, I’m going to continue to smile and be thankful. Shoot I just might call the man (btw this is a new company, not the same people that have been screwing me with no Vaseline) in the morning and schedule the appointment to fix it. Actually that might be the liquor talking… either way I’m glad it hit me that I’m one of God’s favorites. Feels good here.