Don’t Hurt Yourself

This year I started it off differently. I took off the 2nd and 3rd of January and used those first few days to make better plans and choices for myself. I made sure I was calm, cool, and collected before returning back to work. I made a plan and I was good. Even when everything wild and bad was happening in the outside world, my little world was still good. But with talks of possible WW3, death, and all the other bad things that came in January, I eventually started feeling bad that my little world was not shaken or harmed during the makings of any of this [face palm]. I had created a safe space where I wouldn’t allow myself to be overcome by the energies of everything else and I kept my focus on myself and my life, but for some reason I started feeling guilty for feeling good amidst all of this and then the month started coming to a close and I started losing control. In comes February to shake the table up… which explains my most recent post and how I was feeling. I had done so well in January, but I finally let the weight of the world fall on my shoulders and knock me off my game. I completely lost my focus. I stopped looking at the vision board up in my room and saved on my phone which resulted in my own whirlwind of chaos and I ended up running around like a chicken with its head cut off – nah, but for real. But alas, March (my favorite and The BEST month) is here and I’m ready to get back on track. I know now that it is okay to be okay, even when the world is in chaos around me. I can be okay in my safe space – the place where I’m happy and free of everything. Here is where I have the ability to express myself and I’m protected from negative thoughts and feelings from others. My house is my physical safe space which I keep stocked with food and candles and burn incense and sage when I want it spiritually cleansed. I have blankets all over my couch and a puppy to keep me entertained and active (daily walks are a must). I’m also aware of the visitors I have because I don’t want anybody else’s bad juju taking up space in a place they don’t pay bills [insert sassy emoji]. I LOVE being at home (major homebody here) but I wasn’t able to be at home as often this past month which took away my time to recoup in my comfort zone. Instead I tried to find it in myself but after being so deterred it was just hard to come up again for fresh air. Now I see the importance of being able to have that safe space deep within as well. I won’t always be able to come to the peaceful aura of my own home which means I have to learn how to keep a little bit of this with me at all times. Naturally, I have this metaphorical wall built as a defense mechanism to keep certain things out. However, this wall needs work, because while I may try my hardest to not let certain energies in, they sometimes slip through the cracks and then they don’t leave. I end up holding bad things in for longer than I intend which weakens the peaceful place within. I will lose myself for a minute like a pilot going down in a tailspin….. but somehow I regain control through some deep breaths and a reminder of myself and my faith (results vary by situation). So really the wall needs to be stronger to block out the bad stuff but I’m still a work in progress and that’s okay. I now know the importance of peace in body as well as in the presence, but it is still easier said than done for me. It’s okay to be okay when s#!+ hits the fan elsewhere. Having your own safe space is important. And with it being March now, it’s important for me to get back on track. I have things to do, places to see, and a birthday to celebrate. Don’t hurt yourself trying to place the world on your shoulders – at least that’s what I’ve learned.