Wow 2023, I’m not gonna lie you grabbed me by the ankles, dropped me to the floor, and wouldn’t let me get back on my feet. Like I’m still not up yet. You’re holding on til the very end like some demon trying to take me to the under world. Well, news flash: I’M NOT GOING!!
I’ve wanted to post here on my open diary for a while, but I kept overthinking about going through things alone. That’s why I couldn’t get up – there was no one around to help me when life was stomping me out. And then, in thinking I needed to be alone, the feeling of being lonely crept in. I didn’t expect it to hit me this hard. I kept thinking I could handle everything, but I underestimated the power of a year, to the point where I’m currently looking like someone has been pulling my hair out (I also desperately need a hair retwist). Not me looking like the battles I’m going through. At least my skin is clearer tho [hair flip]. Like no lie that may be one my one saving graces – losing one of those battles actually turned into a win on the skincare level. You have to let go of those toxic jobs and give it to God to make everything right. In reality, the toxic job let me go, but they’re lucky because I was about to open up an HR can of whoop-ass!! I’m thankful I didn’t though… I didn’t have that kind of fight left in me by that point anyway. I put my white flag up, tapped out, whatever kind of sign of surrender you need and gave it to God. It’s above me now.
I’ve never felt Tamela Mann more than at this point now when she said “truth is I’m tired.” Baby, I’ve literally said that everyday for the past few months and I’m not happy about it. I’m tired of being tired. But today? Well today seemed brighter than my past few days. Even with the wind whipping my face and turning me to ashy gray that made me blend in with my sweats, it’s still a brighter day. Probably because yesterday I did a few things: I blocked somebody who needed to be blocked, vented about it to one of my best friends, and I bought an actual physical Bible.
-BTW did you know how expensive Bible’s are??? I got mine for half off and that turned into the price I truly thought it would be anyway. Who authorized this??-
Anyway, I think all of that set me up for success for the day. Now I haven’t been all that productive but I think it’s because I finally felt relaxed. When I read my devotional this morning, I used my handy dandy new Bible to help me gain better wisdom. I read so many great verses today that I feel on top of my situation for once, and not on the ground being dragged by my ankles. I shared one verse in particular with my friends today in a message, and I guess I’ll share the message with you, too, since you’ve made it this far:
And here’s to 2024: I pray I finally get on my feet 🍾
CheckMyLipss 