Maaaaannnnn why does the wrong thing feel like the right thing? There’s like an adrenaline rush that comes with doing the opposite of what I know I should be doing. Back in high school I broke curfew several times KNOWING there would be consequences because I was having more fun staying out then I would if I were to go home (the curfew was too early in my opinion). I talked to guys I had no business talking to – they were too old or living the wrong life – but still felt it was my own lesson to learn. And yet in all the lessons and consequences I’ve had to endure as a result of all the questionable choices I’ve made, I STILL haven’t learned my lesson [face palm]. Here it is that at this very moment I’m actually upset because I couldn’t do the wrong thing. I realize this is a plot that most people deal with in life: what you know vs what you feel like doing in the moment. Now I’m questioning myself, deeply. Am I playing with fire and will it actually burn?
But life is about taking risks, right? [Joker Laugh]. I guess the human thing is to take the risk and get the rush that comes from it but of course not all risks should be taken. The saying goes “if you knew better, you would do better” and I definitely know better. Then there’s the part that you don’t want to regret either decision that you make, even though you already know that one is morally wrong. Weighing out your morals vs the urge of your flesh is a tough battle depending on your situation. Looking back on every time I’ve done WRONG wrong though, some of the consequences haven’t even been worth it. I’ve wasted time, money, and even blocked a blessing or two for doing the wrong things but here I am having to do the most to talk myself out of another debatable act. Sometimes I give myself a headache. It’s all a matter of how I want this part of my story to go. Do I take the higher route and finally pass a segment of life and collect $200 because I chose right? Or do I go down that tunnel and end up with a toxic story that I’ll write about and have y’all wondering “wtf is she on??” As of RIGHT NOW, I’ve chosen to go with the former decision and I do hope it’s my final answer for this situation. I’m really not trying to have karma come after me because y’all know that lady is RUTHLESS!!! But at the same time, she and I aren’t strangers…
CheckMyLipss 