Forgive and…

My mother always taught me it was important to forgive and forget when someone does you wrong. She said it was one of the Bible’s many important lessons and that I should adhere to it. The whole concept seemed dated to me because why did I have to forgive the person AND forget what they did to me? I felt like that was getting the short end of the stick because what if they were trying to kill me or something? I’m just supposed to pretend it never happened and go on with life? Nah I’m good. So in comes life to teach me the meaning of her lesson. (Sidebar: this is another story that references my ex, my bad) A few years back I had a little situation with my ex and it caused me to get my 3rd tattoo that literally says Forgive and Forget. Now I don’t remember the situation but it was enough to have me crying and all over the place with my thoughts and in a tattoo shop the day after…. y’all I think it had something to do with how my graduation night ended!! So the day I graduated from college was a bit awkward and a mess because he brought his personal situation into my celebration and then things just went downhill. The next day I’m a mess and I decide that I’m going to the tattoo shop to get this phrase that my mom preached to me growing up because I’m upset and I felt forgiveness was in order, even for a day that was special to me. Through the tears I realized that I was probably going to continue life with him so I needed to “forget” all the hurt in order for us to work [face palm]. In that moment I finally understood what my mom was trying to say. Like how can you claim to forgive somebody if you’re going to continue holding whatever they did to you against them? While in some cases it is warranted, it could end up hurting only you in the long run. I guess we choose to remember just so we know not to let it happen again because nobody likes to get hurt but at the same time, we’re holding on to hurt. Forgive and forget, to me, doesn’t mean I’ll blot your stupidity out of history forever like it’s the story of Black Wall Street or something, but that it’s not going to be one of the first things I think about when I think about you, IF I think about you. I’d rather be able to move forward in my own life – with or without you – than to dwell on what somebody did to me at 4:36 pm on a Tuesday in the summer back in 2016 (some people remember DETAILS details). At the end of the day I feel that karma is real and every dog will have their day. God and the universe will take care of me even though I do struggle to understand this sometimes. I know for a fact I’m still holding on to hurt. I said it before that it’s hard to let things go sometimes [Warning: Triggered]. At least I know where my faults lie. Forgiving and forgetting isn’t what you to do to let the other person/people off the hook, it’s a personal thing that lets you move forward without any ties to a bad situation. That’s how I’ve come to think of it at least. But, to each his own…