So lately I’ve been working on putting limits to certain things; you know like protecting my energy and keeping my thoughts positive and all that yada yada. The most important boundary I have come across lately is just making sure to be confident in who I am and strong in what I feel and believe and not let anybody deteriorate that. People can question you and your abilities from time to time to the point that you even start to question yourself. You’ll go from “I’m not the greatest, I’m the double greatest” to “I’m alright” and wonder what happened and how you got to this point. Sometimes it’s being humble but other times it’s because somebody made you question your worth and that’s not it. If I’m being honest, this is a self-esteem issue for me and I’ve been working on this my whole life. The other day I read this post that said something about being aware of who you are and not to dim your light to protect the ego of others. I’ve been doing that dumb [insert expletive] and I feel like an idiot now that I’ve become more comfortable with who I am and have grown to be. I really lowered myself to make it seem like I wasn’t “too good” or whatever backhanded phrase that was used to make me feel like I was being more than others could handle. Looking back it was never my fault that I was that way and I shouldn’t have felt the need to apologize or diminish myself so they felt better. Now I’m having to re-establish myself to people who are used to me being inferior for their benefit. The other week I was told that my confidence in myself now is fake and that I’m still a scared little girl AFTER they told me they see my confidence in myself now and liked it – people really thinks it’s okay to blatantly disrespect me which is wild. Their opinion changed when they realized they wouldn’t get their way out of the situation. So basically when you respect yourself more and walk in your light, [some] people will only appreciate this if it’s beneficial to them.
So in the words of K Camp “it ain’t nothing to cut that [insert another expletive] off” when they rather you be a person that benefits them and their ego more than yourself. In the words of the Good Book “a lamp is placed on a stand where it’s light can be seen throughout” so don’t go hiding it from/for anyone. Don’t take the disrespect from family, friends, coworkers, your aunties bald headed boyfriend, etc., be unapologetically you (to not include toxic traits that are detrimental to yourself or others), and set yourself some healthy boundaries that promote wellness for yourself, first.
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