So I’ve been contemplating whether or not I’d jump on my soapbox after the season I’ve had. This year I didn’t (well my parents didn’t) broadcast it as much that I was coaching club volleyball again this year. I had the 12U team and they came to do really well this season and I’m proud of the outcome for the majority. This time was more of a challenge for me, these girls are different from my last set and I kept having to tell myself that. I had a range of talents on this team whereas my last one had a more cohesive skill set. It was tough trying to take them from individuals and form them into one team on the same level but that wasn’t my biggest challenge. Most of the hardest decisions landed outside of volleyball. From thousands of emails to coach group texts to crying to my mom and dad about everything, the whole experience was STRESSFUL. I even thought about if coaching was for me and if I even needed to continue… I lost the passion and excitement and all the good it had brought me but I’ve had time to think and reflect and take some lessons away.
1. Be careful what you pray to God for because he may give it to you, but in the way you didn’t expect. I’ve been toying with the idea of starting a nonprofit org for the longest and recently thought of maybe doing all girls to start. Well then I ended up with an all girls team that I felt like I talked to about life and situations just as much as we discussed volleyball and in a way got a look into what my nonprofit would be like – I’m not discouraged from that idea.
2. People are brought up differently and it can affect how they interact with others. I’ve been around people from all walks of life but I guess I never had to overstay my welcome around people who are way different from me. Either that or I’ve just never had to pay that much attention to it. It’s okay to bring light to the differences but in the end, everyone has to compromise in order to make the relationship work.
3. I have more patience than I ever thought, but then I hurt myself trying to be so patient so maybe I’ll back off of that some – or learn when enough is enough.
4. Some people can’t take things being sugar-coated and others can’t handle straight shooters. You have to read people to learn how they respond to things to enhance communication skills.
5. The race card will be thrown around. It’s 2018 and we still deal with high racial tensions that I’m not oblivious to. It is clear and evident that I am a young, black woman. Majority of my players were little black girls. Representation matters but it can also be called favoritism or racism by those who are not willing to accept any other fact rather than race. My parents didn’t teach me to look down on others because of the skin color. If you ever felt I was racist………….. I won’t entertain the thought past that.
I probably learned way more than this but they are more personal for me to do some more thinking on. Once again, I appreciate the opportunity I was given to coach a young group of girls in a sport I still love. Hopefully they all learned something from me, just as much as they all taught me. We can’t always be everybody’s cup of tea when we meet new people. Everybody isn’t meant to just mesh together. In the end, it was more experience added to my life’s resume that I can use for future endeavors. I read once that what someone else thinks of you is their problem and since the number of people who have negative connotations associated with me < the number of people who like me, I’ll leave it as what it is: not my problem and none of my business.
CheckMyLipss 